Ways to fuck up a car

[Project696]

Ok, since this place seems pretty dead for the most part, lets see if I can bring any life to it with a new thread. Hypothetical if someone were to piss you off or fuck you over and you wanted to destroy their car, or just plain out fuck it up, what would be some ways some of you would go about doing this.....And on a side note, first person to say something along the lines of sugar in the gas tank will get smacked upside the head.

I've thought of 2 that could work wonders..

1.) Bleach in the gas tank - Bleach is an extremely corrosive material. And it would cause the fuel tank, fuel lines, and eventually the engine if it even reaches that far to rust to hell.

2.) Water in the gas tank - Gas floats on top of water. So all the water put into the tank will just settle down to the bottom. And it will eventually cause the car to stall, and then not even start until they have the entire fuel system flushed.


So anyone got any other ideas?

[kingofsin]

when dealing with someone like myself it is a simple way of doing this bomb, in this hypothetical theory if someone pissed me right the fuck off here is what id do to there car. I would gather up an empty film canister the plastic see through ones for the kodak cameras, I would fill it with 3/4 Comet the cleaner for the bathroom, and the rest 1/4 drain cleaner crystals but not all the way for the cap must be put on securely, finally I would unscrew their gas tank for the vehicle they drive, now I would put in my canister it will take 5 to 10 minutes for the gasoline to eat away at the plastic which gives me time to run and find some place to watch, as it his the comet it will create a chemical reaction with the petroleum and it will ignite the car into flames/make a large car bomb

[moaning lisa]

sugar in the gas tank. they have to pull the engine.

find the distributer, reverse the firing order. no mechanic will check this, because as far as he can tell, there is a spark.

take the oil filter off.

drain the oil in the diffirential. they can get about a hundred miles before it breaks, and wind up stranded in the middle of nowhere.

molotov everything.

my input on your ideas-
1) an oldie: not that bad, but it has no place with the now, aluminum car. you will probably take out the fuel pump, and hurt the injection system, but there is little steel left in cars.

2) costs 1 tank of gas to repair, and I could do it on the side of the road with a screwdriver, and a half full battery. cars are designed to handle water in the gas (condensation in the tanks at the gas station cause "bad tanks of gas") however it is good to play on friends, because it is only a petty crime.

[Project696]

sugar in the gas tank. they have to pull the engine.

Sugar does not work what so ever. The theory is that Sugar disolves in the gas (FALSE!) and makes it way to the engine and glunks up everything. When in fact the sugar would never make it past the fuel filter.

[moaning lisa]

it will still clog the fuel filter, and keep doing so till the tank of gas is up...your right tho, I never thought of that...I know mothballs do dissolve, but arent so bad on the engine...

[Seitzy]

does does putting a potato in the muffler actually work?

[kingofsin]

if shoved in far enough seitzy............it will only stall the car which makes it pretty useless

[PuppetMaster]

Put a block under the car so when you slash the tires it wont dip down, then fill the two rear tires (or just one) with quick dry concrete. The next time they drive the car the transmission will be completely destroyed.

Light thermite just about anywhere on the hood.

Undo the rubber hangers that hold up the tail pipe, its really easy and if you rig it so it falls when they go over a bump they'll be dragging their tail pipe for quite a ways.

[Silver]

Crack a egg or two in the AC intakes. They rot and you get that rotten egg smell every time you turn on the AC.

[Onex]

Put quick dry cement I in the gas tank

[Seitzy]

Shoot the car with a fully automatic, heavy caliber gun.

Bomb it.

[Snauserpuss]

Pay a hobo to smash the windows out and take a dump on the driver's seat. When CSI tests the poop for DNA it will point the fuzz away from you. You know they will use DNA for such a serious hate crime.

[uksting]

You guys aren't thinking right. So far not all of the posts have been practical. So...here's a few.

1) Reach under with some clippers and cut the wires to the O2 sensor on the exhaust. better yet pull the connector off and cut a length of wire. It will mess with the running, put the engine warning light on and cause emissions problems. As you cut the plug off it will also be a pain and expensive to fix.

2) The good old small bit of grit in the dust cap of all the tires is a good piss off trick.

3) If you can get to the engine bay, and the coolant is cold, dump a load of sodium hydroxide (lye) in the header tank. It will just love eating all the aluminum parts as the coolant washes around. Takes about 10k miles before the engine fails.

4) Petrol squirted into a cold back box will make a nice sound when it heats up. Better yet, petrol in a small plastic bottle so that the fuel isn't released until the back box has heated enough to melt the plastic to release it and so also be ready to push the fuel beyond it's flashpoint.

5) Pin hole a rad hose so it leaks out.

6) If the car is parked on an incline, remove the fuel tank drain plug or drill a couple of holes (one to drain one to vent) into a fuel tank, walk to the bottom of the incline. Have a smoke and wait for the fuel to reach you before igniting.

7) Get some cadaver scent from a dog training outfit and with a long sturdy needle squirt it inside the car. The smell is impossible to shift.

8) Stale old urine, squirted in in the same was will be a gift that goes on giving, but will come out with a biological carpet/seat wash. But when the sun hits the fabric through the glass, damn that smells ripe! (or so I am told)

9) With a good sturdy knife or cutters, reach in from the front wheel well or under the car if it doesn't have a plastic under tray and cut the axillary drive belt and remove. Instant loss of power steering, no water pump & car is undriveable dead in the water and will need a tow truck. (Emergency seat belt cutters work well, as do the knives used to cut windscreens out. Or so I am told)

10) Expanded foam filer in the rear back box will also immobilize a car.

11) Dilute PVA glue and use a garden sprayer to coat the car and cover it with sand. That will not be easy to remove without messing up the paint.

12) Bird food into a convertible or with the use of PVA (see above) on a hard top car is always entertaining.

13) Or....if you have access to a similar vehicle, order some plates online, fit them to your borrowed car and go hit a few speed camera's over a few days. (not sure if the US has as many GATSO traps as the UK)

14) On the egg suggestion above, cracking an egg onto paint eats into the clear coat. The longer it sits there the worse it gets. The paint ends up kind of etch grey and all the cutting back in the world won't get rid of it. Same goes for sperm...don't ask! But then you have a biological left behind that may cause some inconvenience. Dark colored cars don't fair well with this treatment.



Always remember, if you clip a wire, take a section with you then there isn't enough to do an easy repair.
The above is hypothetical musings, so play nice children.

[TheGrahamReaper]

I was thinking about this just the other day. I work as security in the parking lot sometimes and there was a guy being a dick so I wanted to beat the shit out of his car and key it and piss in the gas tank.

[RandomGuy]

What would happen if you dissolved guncotton in acetone then poured that into someone's gas tank?

[AggressionFAIL]

It'd grind the engine.

Also ITT: Reasons why to get a lock on your gas cap

[Project696]

1) an oldie: not that bad, but it has no place with the now, aluminum car. you will probably take out the fuel pump, and hurt the injection system, but there is little steel left in cars.

it actually took me a minute to get back to this thing little part here. Cars tend not to be too much aluminum half the time., the body of the car is made of fiberglass but All the pipes, engine, etc.. is all still made of steel. I was under my car about a week ago doing an oil change and looking at the pipes and it hit me, that its all still steel down here..I used to be a machinist before being a victim of the bullshit economy and being laid off, so I know my metals still pretty well. And theres a huge difference between steel and aluminum obviously. Now some cars vary with small details, such as brake lines. Some use steel lines while others use reinforce rubber hoses. But alot of whats underneath is mainly steel.

[moaning lisa]

it actually took me a minute to get back to this thing little part here. Cars tend not to be too much aluminum half the time., the body of the car is made of fiberglass but All the pipes, engine, etc.. is all still made of steel. I was under my car about a week ago doing an oil change and looking at the pipes and it hit me, that its all still steel down here..I used to be a machinist before being a victim of the bullshit economy and being laid off, so I know my metals still pretty well. And theres a huge difference between steel and aluminum obviously. Now some cars vary with small details, such as brake lines. Some use steel lines while others use reinforce rubber hoses. But alot of whats underneath is mainly steel.

hope you stick around, having a machinist to question would be nice...and your right, the underbody of a car is primarily steel, especially the exhaust, I know on post-2000 cars the fuel pump is aluminum, headers are aluminum, intakes are aluminum, valves are aluminum...alot of internal moving parts are aluminum, so alot will still go wrong...

1) Reach under with some clippers and cut the wires to the O2 sensor on the exhaust...3) If you can get to the engine bay, and the coolant is cold, dump a load of sodium hydroxide (lye) in the header tank. It will just love eating all the aluminum parts as the coolant washes around. Takes about 10k miles before the engine fails...6) If the car is parked on an incline, remove the fuel tank drain plug or drill a couple of holes (one to drain one to vent) into a fuel tank, walk to the bottom of the incline. Have a smoke and wait for the fuel to reach you before igniting...7) Get some cadaver scent from a dog training outfit and with a long sturdy needle squirt it inside the car...10) Expanded foam filer in the rear back box will also immobilize a car...14) On the egg suggestion above, cracking an egg onto paint eats into the clear coat. ...Always remember, if you clip a wire, take a section with you then there isn't enough to do an easy repair.
The above is hypothetical musings, so play nice children.

^I hope this guy sticks around too, and gives 'gearheads' some attention

[shomc]

Sandpaper and a very strong magnet. Put pieces of sandpaper face down on the car with the very strong magnets sitting ontop. They'll have to slide the magnets off the sides of the car to pull it off, making them ruin their car's paint job.

[Project696]

Sandpaper and a very strong magnet. Put pieces of sandpaper face down on the car with the very strong magnets sitting ontop. They'll have to slide the magnets off the sides of the car to pull it off, making them ruin their car's paint job.

reason why this has issues working is most car bodies are made out of fiberglass now a days. Magnets do not stick to fiberglass. Which is a big reason why alot of bumper stickers are precisely that, stickers. You'll still see magnet ones sold as novelties such as spencers and hot topic, but you will find they won't stick to a car unless you got a metal bumper.

[BlackDog6903]

This one only works if you can get inside the car and if the vehicle in question is not going to be used for a week or so (person is out of town, suspended license, broken right leg, etc.)

1. Get a gallon of milk, drink (or dump out) half of it
2. Fill the rest of the jug with meat products (chicken bones, ground beef, bacon, sausage, etc.)
3. Put the cap back on and completely wrap the jug with 4-5 layers of duct tape.
4. Put the taped-up jug on the floor behind the driver seat.

The gasses from the milk and decomposing meat will build up in the jug until it explodes. Causing a very foul smell. I've heard its bad enough to total a car.
This works best during the summer months when the temp is highest.

[eleanorrigby]

wouldn't fuck it up but would be hilarious and probably make them crash....
replace windshield washer fluid with something that will smear....... like melted butter.

[SLP]

Go to a hardware shop or supermarket and get some paint thinner. If you throw a tin of that over their car it messes up their paintwork.

[MarchOfClouds]

like melted butter.

Melted butter won't stay melted.

I like to use birds as torture devices. Cover the vehicle in some kind of adhesive, then sprinkle with birdseed, or something else that will attract birds. If all goes to plan, the vehicle will be covered in birds / evidence of birds. Since the food attracting them is stuck down, they'll keep trying to get it off... and more birds will come.

[TheGrahamReaper]

wouldn't fuck it up but would be hilarious and probably make them crash....
replace windshield washer fluid with something that will smear....... like melted butter.

Or something like a think black oil.

But the simple answer to this would be...

[Ghost Prototype]

Melted butter won't stay melted.

In a hot car / hot engine it would. That may work because of this.

On another note, it would be possible to do a few other things as well, such as readjust the headlights so they're pointed slightly up. Other drivers will think his bright lights are on, and probably turn theirs on and blind him. Another thing that can be done is to modify the stickers on the license plate... make them show that they're out of date. It'd would at least make them get pulled over next time a cop sees them.

Lastly, if I could get into the car and have time to work on it, I would see if I could remove their driver's seat, and ideally, reinstall it backwards. That would fuck with them so hard.

[SLP]

No one has suggested cutting the brake lines? Next time they're parked on a hill and the hand brake is on, reach under one of the fenders (wings) and cut the little hose coming from the brakes.

[Project696]

No one has suggested cutting the brake lines? Next time they're parked on a hill and the parking brake is on, reach under one of the fenders (wings) and cut the little hose coming from the brakes.

Well with cars now a days, some brake lines are the classic reinforced rubber hoses, and some use aluminum lines. The issue with this idea though, if the car has an auto transmission, cutting them won't do jack shit because of the parking break. Where as a manual transmission it will work. Now if you're looking to do harm to the driver as well, a perfect way to achieve this is to just puncture the brake line. Gotta be sure to puncture a line going to the front brakes and the rear brakes. A full cut would make them unable to shift into gear (auto tran), but a puncture would force the brakes to fully go out after a few stops.

[SLP]

Well with cars now a days, some brake lines are the classic reinforced rubber hoses, and some use aluminum lines. The issue with this idea though, if the car has an auto transmission, cutting them won't do jack shit because of the parking break. Where as a manual transmission it will work. Now if you're looking to do harm to the driver as well, a perfect way to achieve this is to just puncture the brake line. Gotta be sure to puncture a line going to the front brakes and the rear brakes. A full cut would make them unable to shift into gear (auto tran), but a puncture would force the brakes to fully go out after a few stops.

Good point, but with aluminium lines there has to be some rubber somewhere. There must be rubber joints to allow the wheels go up and down.

[Project696]

with the aluminum ones, best way in my opinion is just get a small hacksaw and go to town at it. With a nice sharp blade, you should be able to cut a good way through it with in a minute. Plus getting under the car to cut the brakes is best instead of just reaching under. Best to see what you're doing.

[easy-e]

Well with cars now a days, some brake lines are the classic reinforced rubber hoses, and some use aluminum lines. The issue with this idea though, if the car has an auto transmission, cutting them won't do jack shit because of the parking break. Where as a manual transmission it will work. Now if you're looking to do harm to the driver as well, a perfect way to achieve this is to just puncture the brake line. Gotta be sure to puncture a line going to the front brakes and the rear brakes. A full cut would make them unable to shift into gear (auto tran), but a puncture would force the brakes to fully go out after a few stops.

I'm going to have to disagree with your statement about cars with automatic transmissions. My truck doesn't need the brake depressed to switch from park and the other automatics I've owned or worked on use a sensor on the break pedal, not a pressure sensor on the brake lines.

Brake light switch

This input is used to determine whether to activate the shift lock solenoid to prevent the driver selecting a driving range with no foot on the brake. In more modern TCUs this input is also used to determine whether to downshift the transmission to increase engine braking effect if the transmission detects that the vehicle is going downhill.

with the aluminum ones, best way in my opinion is just get a small hacksaw and go to town at it. With a nice sharp blade, you should be able to cut a good way through it with in a minute. Plus getting under the car to cut the brakes is best instead of just reaching under. Best to see what you're doing.

The solid aluminum lines go from the master cylinder or distribution block to the wheel well. From there flexible rubber lines run to the Caliper or piston.

If by aluminum brake lines you mean the rubber lines with a aluminum/stainless braid reinforcing them they are easily cut with tin snips.

I do agree though that a pinhole would probably be best. That way they will get a few blocks away before catastrophe.

[uksting]

No one has suggested cutting the brake lines? Next time they're parked on a hill and the hand brake is on, reach under one of the fenders (wings) and cut the little hose coming from the brakes.

I believe that the original homework question was, "Ways to fuck up a car"

If you want to take out the driver in a car then that is a different question. But one with way, way many easier answers.

[Project696]

I believe that the original homework question was, "Ways to fuck up a car"

If you want to take out the driver in a car then that is a different question. But one with way, way many easier answers.

Well in all seriousness, if you wanna fuck someone's car up, you obviously must not like the owner of the car unless you're into random fucking shit up. So cutting the brakes is a viable answer in theory.

[uksting]

Granted, in theory it is. But it isn't targeted and will more than likely cause a 3rd person to be injured. And that's just not cool.

Simple things spring to SWIM's mind if the occupant were desired to be helped forcibly to their allotted spot in the afterlife. Say a cluster of shotgun shells with the right sort of shot in them placed under the drivers seat area of the car with electric fuses (easy to make) inserted into the powder, wired to the starter motor positive line. SWIM also says that if you use small enough gauge wire for the fuseable element in the fuse you could wire them back to a lower voltage supply like the headlights or break lights or the fuel pump power supply if it is an external pump. The options are plentiful if you research and know what you are looking for.. Same thing but against the fuel tank. Or if a plastic tank, and time allows, drill it, drain it and fit an electric hot wire fuse into it, and again wired to the starter or other location. With a mostly empty tank the fuel air mixture would be almost perfect to lift the car off its wheels. Plastic steel putty can be used to plug the hole with the wire going into the tank if required as this will bond and harden even with the presence of petrol. 3rd part injury is still a possibility withe the above I suppose, but at least the event is attempting to be local.

[Project696]

or a simpler way is if you can get under the hood. Remove the air intake filter. Ya know what filters the air that enters the cabin. Place a shit ton of ricin in there and insert filter and get the hell outta dodge. Same way those christian extremists killed that abortion doctor a few years back. But again, thats neither here nor there. This thread is about fucking a car up.

Cutting the brakes not only increase the chances of harming the individual that owns the vehicle, but also increases the odds of them crashing it and totaling it to hell. But to increase those odds, you'd really need to know enough about the victim. Say if they only do city driving, well cutting the brakes would only help them to get into an accident with another vehicle. If the do alot of highway driving, then thats where it is most effective, at high speeds.

[uksting]

Have you ever driven a car with a leak in the brake hydraulics? Nice theory, but if there is a leak in the system then the pressure at the peddle will show up the problem to the driver. The pedal will be spongy and sink more easily. You can simulate a hole in the system by backing off one of your bleed screws on your own car and you will then see what I mean. Most people would then either take it easy going home or call a tow truck. Plus to be effective you would need to cut both rear break lines as cars all have dual circuit brakes. By dual circuit that means only a common hydraulic fluid reservoir feeding two break circuits. normally back left and front right on one and the other two wheels are on circuit 2. Cutting one would mean that the vehicle still has the required safe stopping power for normal driving on the other circuit. If you cut both lines then there would be no pressure at the pedal and so the driver wouldn't move more than a few yards to the first point they need to use the foot brake.

I don't see messing with the breaks as a viable method of anything other than causing aggravation to the owner.

[Mr_Scotty]

I remember this one episode of Mythbusters they froze a box of cans of shaving cream. Then they sliced open the cans and took out the frozen cream. They then placed those frozen things back in the box and then they placed it in a car and the car filled up completly.

They hit the window with a hammer and it didn't shatter.

[Project696]

Have you ever driven a car with a leak in the brake hydraulics? Nice theory, but if there is a leak in the system then the pressure at the peddle will show up the problem to the driver. The pedal will be spongy and sink more easily. You can simulate a hole in the system by backing off one of your bleed screws on your own car and you will then see what I mean. Most people would then either take it easy going home or call a tow truck. Plus to be effective you would need to cut both rear break lines as cars all have dual circuit brakes. By dual circuit that means only a common hydraulic fluid reservoir feeding two break circuits. normally back left and front right on one and the other two wheels are on circuit 2. Cutting one would mean that the vehicle still has the required safe stopping power for normal driving on the other circuit. If you cut both lines then there would be no pressure at the pedal and so the driver wouldn't move more than a few yards to the first point they need to use the foot brake.

I don't see messing with the breaks as a viable method of anything other than causing aggravation to the owner.

My old honda accord had brake issues so I know alot about bad brakes. I had them checked multiple times and nothing wrong was ever found with them. Yet I could have the the brake pressed all the way to the floor and it didn't do shit. First time was going 70 down the highway and trying to get off the offramp. So E-Brake came in handy there. So I know plenty about driving with shitty brakes. It is a semi viable option still in my opinion.

[Raid Huffington]

Brake fluid will eat straight through the paint on a car. Pour some on, wait a few minutes, and wipe it away. In a day or so the paint will bubble and flake off. Or if being covert isn't your style you can dump that shit on the car and leave.

[Synner]

Cut the valve stems on the tires, not a complete blowout, but they'll keep losing air and whenever they try to put more in, it'll leak out..
Take a Sharpie Magnum and color in their side mirrors.
Black spray paint on the head and tail lights?
Drain the coolant.
Disconnect the alternator.
Rearrange plug wires (I think that was already said).
Steal their battery.

[Raid Huffington]

Bondo in the keyholes.

[s060109]

bricks+hands=broken windows

[Riv3r]

bricks+hands=broken windows

simple yet effective. Perhaps we could get more creative with this thread, like an ignition detonator or something?

No? to much?

[moaning lisa]

I recently saw a crude device consisting of an 8 inch hollow steel tube, sharpened (resembling a syringe) with the end wrapped in electrical tape. apparently you could stab it through the gas tank, and bleed it out.

[wonT0nSOOp]

"Ways to fuck up a car"...... Ok....

1. Bong water thrown inside the car (The smell will never go away)
2. Road Kill inside the car (same principle as above)
3. stick a rag into the gas tank, light the rag on fire, haul ass in the opposite direction.
4. place slices of bologna all over the car's exterior. (It will "love" eating the paint)
5. sand and sawdust in the gas tank (The word here is "and", and fuck mythbusters.)
6. Remove the spark plug/ battery/ any other essential, removable component. (happened to me. You have no idea how hard it is to find a fucking batery at 2 AM.)
7. Slice tires
8. Smash windows
9. Bash bumper with a bat/ explode airbags
10. Shit under the door handles/ all over the car
11.Key obscene messages large enough to be seen by passerby standing twenty feet away.
12. Purchase X illegal substance. Place X illegal substance in or on the car in plain sight. Call 911. Watch the scene.
13. If the car is dirty, smudge the dirt into obscenities et al.
14. If the car is clean, use it for target practice with the contents of a gargage bag.
15. crack open a beer. Take a sip. pour the rest of it inside the car.
16. have hot, sweaty sex with a fat manatee in the back of the car. It will never smell or feel the same again. Neither will you.
17. Shoot the car with a paintball gun, 8-mile style.
18. purchase or steal a sledgehammer. Go to work on the car.
19. Steal the car. Smoke pot, drink booze, spill all over the place. Return the car.
20. Tell somebody else where the car is so they can steal it or steal from it.

[Hex535]

shaving cream and bologna destroy car paint

[fanglekai]

Want to fuck up a car? Don't. It's a waste of time.

[rocklin]

[infinityshock]

the overwhelming majority of suggestions in this thread are ass. and wont work.

ive tried enough of them to know

[Raid Huffington]

Get fox urine from a hunting/sporting goods store and pour it on the seats and in the AC vents. Bonus points for doing it on a hot day.